Hygiene
by BerryPeach
Summary: Iruka gets into a fight with Kakashi over something that isn't his fault. What will happen! Warning: yaoi, mild noncon, violence to the gonads , mild language. A little bit of JiraiyaIruka in there, too...


KAKASHIxIRUKA

(A few bits of JIRAIYAxIRUKA as well… strictly for the storyline)

"I've had it, Kakashi!" said a frustrated Iruka. He stormed out of the bathroom, a damp towel wrapped tightly around his waist. Kakashi was lying leisurely upon a sofa, watching the Icha-Icha Paradise Movie… again. Kakashi lifted a lazy eye to look at Iruka, who was by this time fuming with anger.

"What?" he asked, somewhat peeved at the interruption. Iruka's eye twitched.

"Did you just say 'what'? DID YOU JUST SAY 'WHAT'?!" he hollered. Kakashi shrank back behind the arm of the sofa, and nodded, frightened.

"As if you don't know!" Iruka said, and he ran his fingers through his soaking wet hair, sighing angrily. "You used my razors. Not just one; you used ALL OF THEM in ONE shower. You used my toothbrush. You used my hairbrush. And you've destroyed the bathroom!" Kakashi tried to object to these accusations, but Iruka gave him no chance to do so. "And I know you did, Hatake Kakashi, because you never clean up after yourself. My hairbrush is snarled with your mangy gray hairs, you didn't even bother to rinse off my toothbrush, and all of my brand-new razors have crap in them, along with GRAY PUBIC HAIR!!" Kakashi started to open his mouth to try some sweet-talking, but (again) Iruka beat him to it. "And don't try to tell me that maybe I didn't rinse off my toothbrush, because it has cinnamon toothpaste on it, and I am allergic to that particular kind!"

"Are you finished?" Kakashi asked after pausing. Iruka nodded, flopping exhaustedly onto the bed, rubbing his temples. "I was actually going to say that my hair is not gray; my hair is silver. And how do you know it was my pubic hair that was in the razors?"

"The hair on your head is straight, but your pubic hair isn't. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. And I know the difference between silver hair and grey hair. It is grey."

"I'm sorry about the toothbrush, but I didn't touch your razors or your hair brush. I don't need a hairbrush, remember?" Kakashi said nonchalantly.

"Ugh! Then who do you suppose DID use it?! Is someone else living under our bed, perhaps?" Iruka asked impatiently, tapping his slipper-covered foot on the carpeted floor.

"Hell if I know," Kakashi said, returning to watching his show.

"AAARRGGH!!" Iruka hollered. He then whipped on some clothes, threw his hair back in a ponytail, and turned to face Kakashi. "Sometimes you can be so inconsiderate." Iruka walked sullenly out of the room, and slammed the door behind him, causing the wall hangings to clatter to the floor.

*~*

"Wow, Iruka-Sensei, thanks!!" Said the well-known knuckleheaded ninja. Iruka had treated him to yet another meal at Ichiraku Ramen. He smiled warmly, as he always did, and indulged in his own bowl of delicious house ramen. Secretly, whenever he treated naruto to ramen, it was usually because he and Kakashi had a little lover's quarrel.

"I'm just glad you're so easy to buy for! I don't know what I'd do if you stopped eating ramen," Iruka joked. Naruto choked and sputtered on a mouthful of ramen and broth, as his eyes bowled over and stared at Iruka in shock.

Ichiraku walked by, and laughed. "Now that truly would be a shame! He's my biggest customer!" (He's laughing on the outside, but on the inside… he just died a little XD)

After Naruto had finished his ramen and most of Iruka's, Iruka paid the bill and the two of them walked off.

"So, Naruto, how has your training been?" Iruka asked, smiling brightly.

"Eh, it's been OK. I'm just finding it hard to take Pervy Sage seriously, when all he wants me to practice is my sexy jutsu." Iruka chuckled. 'I'm going to have to kick Jiraiya's ass one day,' he thought to himself.

"Really?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah; he says that once I perfect all of my current techniques, then he'll teach me some new ones. But what I don't understand is how that perverted old man can say that my sexy jutsu isn't perfected by now! I mean, c'mon! I created the jutsu in the first place!"

"Hahah, well I'm sure he's got some method in his madness. You just have to stick with it, and just charge right through, and you'll make it out even stronger than before," Iruka said, "why, when I was a young g-

Iruka ceased all movement suddenly, and his eyes got very large. 'Perverted old man,' Iruka thought, 'perverted old man… perverted old man…'

"Naruto," Iruka said, "what color is Jiraiya's hair?"

Naruto looked up at him confusedly. "Grayish-white, I guess… why?"

"And does he use a hairbrush?"

"Yeah, but… he said he couldn't find his, and he couldn't afford to buy a new one either. Iruka-Sensei, why do you care so much about Jiraiya's hair?"

"Hm? O-Oh, no reason. It's nothing, really."

Just as Iruka was about to change the subject, Kakashi darted out from the bushes.

"Iruka! Tsunade's got an urgent mission for you, and she sent me to find you to bring you back to her!!" Kakashi said, out of breath. Naruto's eyes got wide, as did Iruka's.

"A-Alright, then! Let's go," Iruka said, turning to Naruto, "I guess I'll be seeing you around, Naruto. Bye!" he said just before vanishing with Kakashi.

Iruka and Kakashi ran for a few minutes, when Iruka saw that Kakashi was leading them straight into a forest. Iruka stopped as soon as he realized this. "Kakashi, where are you taking me?" Iruka asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Kakashi turned, and smiled innocently, like he always did.

"I'm taking you to Tsunade," he said simply.

Iruka shook his head, folded his arms, and firmly planted his feet. "I'm not going anywhere near this forest at this time of night. I think I'll just go to the Hokage in her office," Iruka said, turning to leave.

Suddenly, he was ambushed by Kakashi, who whirled him around, and kissed him needily. Iruka immediately broke the kiss, and backed away, staring in confusion at Kakashi. "What the hell is wrong with you, Kakashi?!"

Kakashi laughed strangely, but it sounded so familiar. Iruka couldn't place it at first, but suddenly it came to him in a flash. His whole face darkened, and he lowered his head, balling his hands into tight and powerful fists.

"Jiraiya…" he hissed.

"What're you talking about, Iruka?"

"Don't…" Iruka fumed, his shoulders starting to shake. He then lashed out violently, punching Jiraiya squarely in the jaw. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT!!" Kakashi flew back, and landed on the ground with a thud, when a large puff of smoke surrounded him, and left behind a flustered Jiraiya.

He then sat up, rubbing his jaw tenderly. "What the hell is your problem?" he groaned painfully. Iruka shot him a vicious glare with tears in his eyes.

"Howe DARE you use my things and make me get in a fight with Kakashi!! AND HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME!!" He drew his fist back to unleash another devastating punch, "ONLY MY KAKASHI CAN TOUCH M-eh?" His fist was grabbed by none other than Jiraiya, who used his other hand to grab Iruka's wrist, allowing him to release the other hand. He then stood up lazily, and hoisted Iruka's hand high up in the air, forcing Iruka to stand on his tip-toes. Iruka could smell the wretched stench of liquor on his breath.

"Ya know… yer pretty sexy when yer angry…" Jiraiya breathed, causing Iruka to gag. Jiraiya went in for another rough kiss, when Iruka instinctively delivered a swift kick in the balls. Jiraiya's eyes bugged out, and he wobbled around and fell over, releasing Iruka's wrist. Iruka took off running.

*~*

Once Iruka had made it back to his and Kakashi's house, he desperately tried to open the door, but it was locked. He fished around in his pockets for his keys, but he couldn't find them. Apparently, in his enraged rush, he'd forgotten to take them with him. He pounded on the door. "KAKASHI!! KAKASHI!! OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!!" Iruka hollered. He heard movement coming from inside. "KAKASHI!!" he hollered.

"I'm sorry, Iruka, I can't hear you. I'm too busy using your things and destroying the house!" he responded, obviously amused. He was never one to hold a grudge. Iruka felt like his heart was in his throat. He glanced around frantically, pounding on the door again.

"Please, Kakashi!! I'm sorry! Just l-let me-

He was yanked back and punched in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. He guffawed, and slumped over, unable to process any movement. He could feel himself being dragged away, and he started blacking out, when he saw a flash of silver, and he felt himself being dropped. He was slowly coming to before he even knew he was blacking out, when he saw Kakashi kneeling over him. He was out of breath, and there was panic in his eyes. "K… Kakashi…" he whispered. His gut was very tender and sore (since he just got punched there), but he reached up slowly, and pulled Kakashi down to him, where their lips met tenderly.

Once they broke the kiss, Kakashi helped Iruka up, apologizing as he helped him into the house. They were both fine with leaving a sleeping Jiraiya outside… for obvious reasons.

As soon as they both got inside, Kakashi bombarded Iruka with kisses and hugs. Iruka immediately responded with the same. They both worked their way over to their large sofa, where they eased themselves down onto it. Once their tongues met each other as well, they wrestled and played, both men relishing in each other's familiar delicious tastes.

It was then that Iruka broke the kiss. "Kakashi… I'm sorry. I should've realized that you wouldn't lie to me about something so small and stupid." He said as he caressed his lover's face. Kakashi smiled, kissing Iruka briefly.

"I know… and tomorrow, we're putting bars on that window. And… we're going to have to talk with that Jiraiya."

"Please, let's not talk about him right now. It's a bit of a mood-killer."

Kakashi nodded and proceeded to fondle Iruka's member through his pants. Iruka sucked in a sharp breath of air, his eyes immediately glazing over with lust. Then, knowing just what to do, Kakashi started kissing, licking, and sucking on his beloved Iruka's neck. Iruka let out a soft groan, when suddenly Kakashi stopped. Iruka moaned in protest, moving around uncomfortably.

"We should probably go somewhere less… visible." Kakashi said. Iruka whined, but obliged.

Once they'd moved upstairs, Kakashi and Iruka leapt onto the bed, now kissing and making out like sex-starved maniacs.

Iruka then flipped the two of them over, so Iruka was straddling Kakashi's waist. He sat up, arching his back sexily, and he began stripping himself of his clothes. Kakashi sat back and watched as his lover's show. Once Iruka was naked, and his hair was down around his neck, he leaned forwards, stripping Kakashi in between kisses.

Kakashi flipped them over again, and he started sucking on Iruka's neck once more, as his free hand fumbled around blindly, looking for the bottle of lubricant he kept lying around. Once found, he applied a generous amount to his penis, and he stopped sucking at his lover's beautiful neck, to seek his eyes for permission. Iruka panted and ground his hips against Kakashi's, eliciting moans from him as well. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Kakashi slowly pushed in as he resumed his kissing and sucking, only travelling down to Iruka's nipples, where he nibbled and sucked on them. Once they were hardened, he went back to Iruka's luscious lips and divine neck.

Kakashi pulled out and thrust back into Iruka. After being together for so long and having sex so many times before, Kakashi knew his Iruka, and he knew where to go to please him the most. Apparently, this was true, since Iruka let out a cry of pure ecstasy, clawing at Kakashi's back. Kakashi thrust in and out of Iruka again and again, hitting that same spot. Iruka cried out louder and louder, Kakashi's and Iruka's sweat mixing together as both vocalized their pleasure.

When they both came, Kakashi pulled himself out of Iruka, and the both of them panted, exhaustion slowly settling in. They quickly used up what little strength they had left by cleaning each other off in the shower, and slipping into their bed. They quickly drifted off into sleep, but not before kissing each other one last time.

*~*

The next morning, Iruka woke up, and he walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth, when he saw that there was a brand new toothbrush with a little ribbon tied around it waiting for him.

*~*

Jiraiya was still unconscious outside of their house, with two substantially large welts on his face. XD


End file.
